Security Rover

President Obama arrived in the UK with massive security entourage and limo specially designed for safety and defense.

I have a similar set-up for here in Luxembourg:

My car is equipped with extra comfy seats, so I don't get irritated stuck behind slow moving locals and old people.

My car is also big enough so that I don't get intimidated by fast moving investment bankers, convinced by their own sense of total superiority.

The unique 'style' of my Rover allows me to effortlessly demonstrate* my Englishness at all times to you continental European types.

My CD changer is fully stocked with The Beatles, Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin and The Who, so that I can instantly balance any foreign influence to regain my delicate Anglo-Saxon sensibilities.

A sophisticated air conditioning system maintains a constant 'English climate' within my car, never allowing it to be too hot or too cold.

And in the glove compartment, I keep a can of Tetleys and a packet of salt & vinegar crisps in case I need to take away the taste of any 'European food'.

*Technically in English, you shouldn't 'split an infinitive' (separate the 'to' from 'demonstrate'). However, the sentence is funnier written this way.