National Chuck Norris Day

Although not widely known in the international community, it is actually National Chuck Norris Day in Luxembourg on 21st July.

Why do the Luxembourgish celebrate National Chuck Norris day? Fear.

Chuck Norris has no actual connection to Luxembourg; but ever wise to the possibility of attack from larger foreign powers (and let's face, Chuck is the largest foreign power), the Luxembourgish have cleverly decided to make the 21st July National Chuck Norris Day - to placate Chuck.

If Chuck Norris had been 1/10 Luxembourgish (like Tom Cruise and George Lucas), I would have been able to make the following jokes:

The original title for 'Delta Force' was 'Mousel Force'.

Originally 'Walker Texas Ranger' was going to be filmed in Luxembourg. It was going to be called 'Walker Diekirch Ranger'.

Despite what local historians say, it was not, in fact, the Luxembourgish who demolished their own city walls - it was Chuck Norris with a single roundhouse kick.

When Chuck Norris is driving in Luxembourg, the 'priorité à droite' rule changes simply to 'priorité à Chuck'.

Chuck Norris is the only human being to have ever drunk a Bofferding in every single bar, café and restaurant in Luxembourg, in one day - even the ones that only serve Mousel.

..but Chuck isn't 1/10 Luxembourgish, so I can't make any of those jokes.

To help celebrate the national day - The top 100 Chuck Norris facts:

http://www.thechucknorrisfacts.com/

Have a happy National Chuck Norris Day!

...and remember, if you can see Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris can see you. If you can not see Chuck Norris, you may only be moments away from death.

National George Lucas Day

Few people realise it, but it's actually National George Lucas Day here in Luxembourg! Why do the Luxembourgish celebrate National George Lucas Day? Well, it's a little known fact that the creator of Star Wars, George Lucas is actually one tenth Luxembourgish.

Throughout his career, George has made heart felt references to his Luxembourgish heritage:

Many of the 'Alien Languages' spoken in the Star Wars movies are, in fact, variations of Luxembourgish: Luxembourgish backwards, Luxembourgish with the syllables rearranged, Luxembourgish with particular phonetics replaced with phonetics that make up the names of famous Luxembourgish beers (Boff, Mou, Mon, Batt, Alt, Kirch) and in the case of Jabba The Hut, he is just speaking Luxembourgish.

The famous Star Wars canteen scene is actually based on a real bar that can be found in Differdange. And the canteen music is the Luxembourgish National Anthem played backwards and faster.

There are other more subtle Luxembourgish social references to be found in the films of George Lucas: The uniforms of the Imperial Offices on the Death Star are not dissimilar to the hats and boots worn by the Luxembourgish Police. And the line 'use the force' is actually taken from the Luxembourgish driving course, where instead of the 'Mirror, Signal, Maneuver' approach to turning of roads common in many nations, Luxembourgish drivers are encouraged to 'use the force', shut their eyes, break and turn without giving any thought to indicating.

'Oodles of Star Wars related silliness on the Internet, so much to choose from:

First of all a classic, Star Wars in 30secs done by bunnies:

http://www.angryalien.com/1205/starwarsbuns.asp

This is not so much funny, as just impressively well done - Kill Bill meets Star Wars:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QD9-tFTifY8


'George Lucas in Love', awarding winning short film. Not so short though, ten minutes... maybe one for a home, rather than the office. I'd hate to be the reason productivity in Luxembourg... ...well, probably...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SfthCXJnTyE


And finally, what would National George Lucas day be with a clip from the Mel Brook's film 'SpaceBalls':

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gTAZgjelNbA&feature=related

One of my comedy favourite lines is in 'Space Balls':

'Will we meet again?'
'Perhaps, in Space Balls 2, the search for more money.'


That be that. May your weeks start well and with a relative lack of hassle or strive.

National Tom Cruise Day!

Few people realise this, but 7th July is actually National Tom Cruise Day in Luxembourg. Why do the Luxembourgish celebrate National Tom Cruise Day, I hear you all ask? ...well, it is a little known fact that Tom Cruise is actually one tenth (1/10) Luxembourgish. Of course, this makes up a far smaller 'people part' in Tom than it would in, say, a normal sized person... but it is of great importance to both Tom and the Luxembourgish people.

Throughout his career, Tom has made subtle but heartfelt references to his Luxembourgish heritage: If you play the famous 'Show me the money' line backwards, you will, in fact, hear 'Moyen! Wéi geet et dir?'.

In the movie Top Gun, Tom suggested some dialogue changes from the bottom of his one tenth Luxembourgish heart: In the case of the famous line, 'I feel the need, the need for speed'. Tom wanted to say, 'I feel the need, the need for Bofferding.' And in the famous 'she's lost that loving feeling' scene, Tom tried the scene a couple of times singing the Luxembourgish National Anthem instead.

In the recent Michael Mann movie, 'Collateral', Tom wanted to take the script in a radical new direction where instead of being driven around in a LA taxi, Tom wanted to use a Luxembourgish bus and Luxembourgish bus driver. Tom had a fantastic scene in mind where he and the Luxembourgish bus driver would argue as to whether Tom had the corrected paperwork from the commune to travel around the city killing people.

Of course, along with his genetic links to Luxembourg, the country of Luxembourg is one of the few countries where Tom feels proportionally the right size, relative to the size of nation he is in.

Some Tom Cruise related links now, to celebrate this important national day:

First, Tom and his stunt double Tom Crooze. A fascinating insight into the creative process behind Mission Impossible II. And it comes complete with Italian sub-titles for all you who parle italiano:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgbdx4JjTE0&feature=related



Some times Tom can be a complex and vengeful man. Oprah found out just how much:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ku2bFoqthR4&feature=related



Finally, the Tom Cruise song. Did you know he had a song? I didn't, but once I found out... I had to share it with you all:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1YBbj_AplM


I hope you all have a great National Tom Cruise Day! Or as Tom would say, 'I feel the need, the need for a National Tom Cruise Day!' ...or, 'Show me the National Tom Cruise Day!' ...or, 'You had me at National Tom Cruise Day.'