Language CDs are Stupid

I've just listened to the instructions of a 'Learn Italian CD':

‘We do not recommend doing the reading portion if you are doing this programme in your car.’

- really?! Well, I was going to… but since you don’t recommend it.

Are there really people that need to be told that? And why is it only a 'recommendation'?

Could I do it if I was reaaaally careful? You know, not in heavy traffic, for example.


Speaking of stupid, what about the sentences we learn in foreign languages as beginners:

'The dog is under the table.'

When are you ever going to say that?


- On a holiday to England, you visit a friend's home:

You: 'Hi!'

Your friend: 'Hello! Nice to see you.'

You: 'Nice to see you too. Your home is lovely.'

Your friend: 'Thank you! That's very kind of you to say s-'

You: 'OH MY GOD! THE DOG IS UNDER THE TABLE!'

Your friend: 'SWEET JESUS! HOW THE HELL DID HE GET THERE?!'

You: 'WHAT DO WE DO?! WHAT DO WE DOOOO?!'

Your friend: 'DO HAVE ANY DOG BISCUITS?'

You: 'NO! DEAR GOD! I DIDN'T THINK!'

Your friend: 'IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!'

You: 'BUT I BLAME MYSELF!'

Your friend: 'IT'S OK! I THINK WE HAVE SOME IN THE KITCHEN!'

You: 'THANK THE BABY JESUS!'