Business English Listening Comprehensions Are Boring

Business English listening comprehensions are so boooring:

Listen to the recording and choose the best response a), b) or c) for each phrase.

1. Why was Daniel so difficult to work with?

a) blah blah blah
b) blah blah printer software blah
c) blah late for meetings blah blah


If I made listening comprehensions, they would be like this:

1. Why was Daniel so difficult to work with?

a) He was a two thousand year old vampire.
b) He wore 'MC Hammer' pants to meetings.
c) He liked to touch himself.


2. I need support to do my job.

a) Buy more expensive underwear.
b) Have you considered Prozac?
c) Perhaps you should go on a diet?


3. Does Peter give his colleagues any problems?

a) Well, he slept with Bob in accounting's Father.
b) No, just the light of Jesus.
c) He likes to warm their chairs for them.


4. Your staff are off sick all the time. What's the problem?

a) They're drunks.
b) They don't like your face.
c) They're a product of a bankrupt western culture that sets unrealistic Utopian social aspirations & at the same time expects an unparalleled level of disposable income, therefore making happiness in the modern world impossible.


5. There's a lot of work. I really need an assistant.

a) Have you considered doing less of it?
b) Yeah, and I really need a night with a Pussycat Doll, but it's not going to happen!
c) And some deodorant.


6. We simply don't have enough staff.

a) For what?
b) Spare me your Marxist ramblings.
c) Put caffeine in the water cooler.