British Citizenship Test

New plans for the British Citizenship Test have been announced


TobytheTeacher's British Citizenship Test:

1. What do British people eat for dinner?

a) Fish n' Chips
b) Chicken Curry
c) Beer

2. Is the Queen..

a) God's voice upon this Earth
b) A Corgi-Pimp
c) The most Bobby-Dazzler Disco-Fantastic Person in the world

3. Did Shakespeare write..

a) 4 Weddings and a funeral (Brit-Flick-Chick-Flick-Middle-Class-Tosh)
b) Hamlet
c) All the Take That songs

3. How many reality TV shows can the average British Citizen watch a week?

a) 2
b) 10
c) How many you got?

4. Is Diego Maradona..

a) A great sportsman and a role model to all the children of the world
b) 98% cocaine
c) A fat-cheating-volleyball-playing-cocaine-addicted-organised-crime-associating-with-jumped-up-mock-God-fearing-f*ck-face

5. Is the first line of the British National Anthem..

a) God save our gracious Queen
b) God save Freddy Mercury
c) Come and have a go if you think you're hard enough!

6. When going to the toilet do you say to your friends..

a) I gotta drain the lizard
b) ME! GO PEE-PEE!
c) Would you excuse me? - I have to use the Winston Churchill

7. In the Winter, do the British have..

a) Snow
b) Sunshine
c) Cold rain

8. In the Summer, do the British have..

a) Snow
b) Sunshine
c) Warm rain

9. Do British people believe in..

a) One of the three major monotheistic spiritualities
b) The healing power of laughter
c) Capitalism - aka: Nothing

10. How do British people see other Europeans?

a) Smelly ill-mannered Johnny-Foreigners
b) European Brothers and Sisters of equal worth and measure
c) People for fighting and football


..for British Citizenship please send your answers to:

The Queen
Buckingham Palace
London
UK (the centre of the universe)