What Not To Say At A Party

Things Not To Say At A Party


My list...

1. I’ve just joined Al Qaeda.

2. Has anyone read ‘War and Peace’?

3. How about an orgy?

4. My God! You people are fat!

5. I sense an evil presence in this room.

6. So… let’s talk about the financial crisis.

7. I’ve got this weird rash on my bottom.

8. My farts smell like peanuts.

9. The ambassador’s parties were always a luxurious affair…

10.Who wants to touch me?

The British Had Brains!

Great news for the British!

Two thousand years ago we had brains!!

It doesn’t say if we have them now of not…

Read His Body Language

Read His Body Language

..as usual, they missed a few. Here are TobytheTeacher's Top Ten Read A Man's Body Language Tips:

1. He has an erection – he likes you.

2. He has an erection – he doesn’t like you, but he’s thinking about a girl he does like.

3. He’s kissing a monkey – he likes monkeys.

4. He holds his nose when he kisses you – you smell.

5. He stares at your breasts when he’s talking to you – he’s not gay.

6. He yawns when you talk – stop talking about shoes.

7. He’s sitting down – he’s drunk.

8. He’s lying down – he’s really drunk.

9. He’s asleep – he has finished drinking.

10. He looks like he’s concentrating when you speak to him – he’s trying not to fart.

Office Party Do's and Don'ts

Office Party Do's And Don'ts


TobytheTeacher's Top Ten Office Party Do's and Don'ts:

1. Arrive wearing only cucumber slices.

2. Ask your boss if his wife is a man or a woman.

3. Tell everyone senior to you in the company that they will be killed when the revolution comes.

4. Bring a chimp to the party.

5. Sing.

6. Insist everyone calls you ‘Il Bandito’.

7. Ask people to sign you’re a*se.

8. Reply to everything people say to you by saying, ‘Yes, I see what you mean, but have you considered therapy?’

9. Take PCP.

10. Communicate only through Mime.

The Pound Is Down

Finally, Capitalism is working for me!

The Pound is down

First the UK bank I have an overdraft with gets bought by the government... hihi.

And now, the value of the UK pound is dropping dropping dropping against the euro.

Think about it.. my overdraft is in pounds. My pay is in euros. ..so technically, my overdraft is reducing. Nice.

..of course, when all the banks in Luxembourg review their training budget - I'm boned.

..but until then, let the good times roll!