Confederations Cup: Italy 3 US 1 - But What Is It?

Italy 3 US 1 in the Confederations Cup. But what is the Confederations Cup?

In 1992 FIFA (the Fortress of International Financial Allocation) realised they could make a lot more money, if they had TWO World Cups (FIFA's highly trained satanic accountants estimated around double).

Initially FIFA planned to use its Dark Magics to create an entire second planet, but Sepp Blatter (the fattest, most corrupt human being in the world) said, 'No! My evil powers are not strong enough for that yet! We will simply call the new tournament The Confederations Cup. Nobody knows what the hell a Confederation is, but it sounds like something that might be official.'

Now, in 2009, multimillionaire footballers come from around the world in a mystical & beautiful, internationally televised, pan-global sponsored, money generating marketing event (that in no way detracts from the actual World Cup), where, occasionally, people play football.

But what of the genuine hopes & dreams of the nation's fans (Italy, Spain, South Africa, US, Brazil, Iraq, New Zealand and Egypt)? Well, inevitably, all but one of those nation's fans hope & dreams will be broken by the end of the tournament. And what happens to those broken hopes & dreams?

They are fed to Sepp Blatter, because that is the source of all his power.