Swear Words, Driving Gays, Carla Do-Dar and Moore, Roger Moore

I just want to apologise for this blog right now. I was smutty mood... and it has rude words in it. And, it has the worst most average 'joke your Dad would make' joke I have ever written on my blog. Bad TobytheTeacher! Naughty! No more Tic Tacs!!


Well, last week we had Saudi Arabia where woman are not allowed to drive.... that's no problem for the women of Italy, but if you're a gay man:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7503861.stm

...I'm trying to work out why being homosexual would make you worse at driving... I mean, if anything, you'd be better at changing gear, no? ...twice the practice, at least.... and as for being able to judge tight parking spaces successfully....


Ah Belarus, where even the refs are drunk at football matches:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7502968.stm

(And the award for most average joke goes to...)

If you think that's bad, you should have seen the crowd...

(Haha! I know, I know... it's awful. But I couldn't think of anything funny to say... it won't happen again, I promise)


Zi First Lady of France, Carla doo-dar (is that her second name?) has a new album out:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/7501883.stm

My favourite tracks are as follows: 'I'm bonking the President', 'I know what the President's ding-ding looks like' and 'You'll never believe what the President ask me to do last night. No seriously, it was bizarre' (that last track is a spoken word piece, performed over a free-form jazz number).

Oh! I just thought of another song title, the traditional-French-folk-music-inspired, 'Is that the French Constitution in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me?'

(I'm back! My powers are strong again! ...seriously, I'm a short man - humour is all I have!)


All the swear words you'll ever need in English....

Channel 4 (UK TV) asked a group of celebrities what their favourite swear word was, this is the result (obviously, there is a lot of bad language here... in fact, there really is only bad language here, so if you're offended by that, you probably shouldn't watch. Of course, you could watch anyway and be offended, I mean, whatever gets your kicks... as John Lennon put it, 'Whatever gets your through the night, it's alright.'):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJsM1Tl7_jE&NR=1

(And now, the rude words:)

My favourite swear words are 'C*cksucking A*sehole' and 'Kiss my motherf*cking a*se'.

Finally, to finish the tone of this blog off nicely.... Natalie Portman raps (much 'beeping to be found here):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8e6-IeQ0aw

And now, a picture of Roger Moore:

No reason for it. I just wanted him to be there. ...maybe it'll help us men drive better?

Toodle-Pip!

...or, as Roger Moore would say,

'Unless your a beautiful woman of non-specific Mediterranean / East European / South American origin, leave now... or I'll judo-chop you!'