Shakespeare, Feta Cheese and Garbage Trucks Backing Up

It's Friiiiiiday!!!

Did you know that the word 'Friday' comes from an ancient Greek tradition? ...The Greeks would mark the end of the working week by frying theirweekly calendars in large metallic pans. Each Greek would have they ownweekly calendar, where they would write down their weekly tasks or jobs.At the end of the week they would celebrate the completion of all thesetasks by frying the calendar along withe Feta cheese and black olives. The Greeks would then eat their fried weekly Calenders along with the cheese and olives.

Is this important?? An Italian football club called eh... Inter Milan, is that it? They've sacked their manager:

news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/europe/7426549.stm

Personally, I'm not surprised. After he refused to participate in theInter Milan tradition of frying their weekly calendars along with someFeta Cheese and some black olives, his days were numbered.

English Practice. These quotes are taken from High School essays...some real beauties in here! Personally, my two favorites are...

'The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender legbehind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant'...wonderful image!

And....

'He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as ifshe were a garbage truck backing up'

Forget, 'But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.'

Shakespeare what were you thinking? Should have been 'Oh Romeo, OhRomeo wherefore art* thou's Garbage Truck Noise?!'

*I should point out, in my capacity as an English Teacher, that'wherefore art thou' does not mean 'where' it means 'why are you Romeo?' ...but the joke works better if we pretend it means 'where'.

I shall leave you all with the best and brightest of English Language thinkers:

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sidesgently compressed by a thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances likeunderpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like aguy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one ofthose boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the countryspeaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipsewithout one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E.Coli, and he wasroom-temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makesjust before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegratedbecause of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surchargeat a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way abowling ball wouldn't.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bagfilled with vegetable soup.

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie,surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city andJeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when youfry them in hot grease.

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced acrossthe grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one havingleft Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topekaat 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fencesthat resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who hadalso never met.

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was theEast River.

18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, onlyone that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are known to do.

20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil,this plan just might work.

21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from noteating for a while.

22. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender legbehind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

23. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around withpower tools.

24. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, asif she were a garbage truck backing up.

25. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either,but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a landmine or something.