Duck Billed Berlusconi

Coca Cola Bails Out Venice

The Mayor of Venice blames lack of government support but, in fairness to Silvio Berlusconi's government, it's not cheap paying for all his cosmetic work.

Silvio is, after all, six hundred and forty seven years old.

Every two weeks his entire body is drained of blood and then refilled by the blood of the Duck Billed Platypus. Indeed, Silvio now has so much Platypus DNA in his system, he is part aquatic.

Silvio can survive up to six and a half days underwater without air support. Another reason why funding for Venice's flood defenses is so difficult to obtain - Silvio doesn't see the problem.

Very often the top of Silvio's bald head can be seen moving through Venice's canals, as he goes about his shopping.

Unfortunately, as part of his longevity treatment, Silvo's head is made of 98% reinforced titanium. This has lead to the sinking of more than one Venetian gondola.

As Venetians say, 'La testa di Silvio è, per la gondola, come il iceberg per la Titanic.'